I got a new washer today and laundry always makes me think of tesseract and A Wrinkle In Time always makes me think of Lewis Carroll, portmanteau and Foucault. The mind reels.
I should find out tomorrow about my selections for my portfolio committee and as soon as I do I'm faxing in the paperwork and putting that puppy to bed. I feel like I've been working on it/ musing on it for far too long and I really don't know how I'm going to feel about it all or myself once it's all done.
I wonder where all the time has gone. My niece is turning one soon. I remember the day she was born- I was on campus preparing for my research tools exam defense and it took all I had in me to stay at the library and finish work and then to drive home instead of to the airport.
I posted my last cake30 blog today. Marking an end of a year of dessert trial and error and now the kitchen has taken on new meanings and tasks. Sprouts and veggies and new spices fill the counters. Vegan falafel and hunan dumplings and Sarson Ka Saag (when I'm not bingeing on rosemary potatoes or grilled eggplant) are my staples.
Things change. There's fear and comfort to be found in the impermanence of everything. There's no use in wanting things to be different. There is only accepting and working towards your ideals mercifully and kindly.
To give a check in on the pre 3one list:
1. Submit to a publisher: a paper I worked on was submitted yesterday, but I want a fiction publisher.
This stays on the list.
2. Start dissertation: Pre-proposal pieces have been gathered and I've been squirreling away books for the lit review.
3. Run a big race. I had to defer from MCM. I wasn't ready for it anyway, but the PT doesn't want me running for a while. I'm begging for a sign off on the Last Race 5k in December. I'll let you know. We'll see what I can get into once I get in shape and cleared.
4. Become a vegetarian again. CHECK!
5. Perfect some signature dishes and desserts. CHECK! for the non-vegan variety. Working on the vegan ones.
6. Be grateful for something everyday. CHECK! I'm keeping a book of things I'm grateful for.
7. See everything as a gift. Working on it.
8. Be graceful.... still trying.
My blog list:
1. Portfolio Will complete by 9/23
2. Summer 11 pilot Done
3. Mods to continue Su 11 Done
4. Mods on Spring 11 study to start Fall 11 Trimming- won't have time
5. Proposal Draft by Halloween
6. Dissertation In by Dec. 11
Time to get back to work. I have some other past musings on change, reflection, and perspective from cake30.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
restlessness and silence
The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.
Joseph Conrad
I feel restless today. I just finished edits on that prof's paper. I'm not happy with my edits. I feel like I should have done more and I want to be more involved in the process of things, but I get nervous. I see these whole huge things... opposite of the old expression, I can't see the trees in the forest.
The restlessness could be contributed to so many things: that paper, the weekend I just had, what's going on at work and what I still need to do to finish my portfolio (the letters were returned and scanned). These are all things that I can do a great deal of good with. I'm inviting someone back into my life who I lost touch with years ago. I love this person and I'm so happy to have reconnected... but nothing is a given. My hands are tied with a few things at work... all I can do is empathize and follow up. My introduction hasn't gelled and my chapter three is still a mess... I need to sit down with them and let them speak.
I wonder how much of what I do I do out of restlessness. My accomplices run gamut from searching for another degree to chase to my new obsession with baking bread and cooking.
How many of these things are simply ways for me to keep moving when what I probably need is to take a little time and breathe?
Joseph Conrad
I feel restless today. I just finished edits on that prof's paper. I'm not happy with my edits. I feel like I should have done more and I want to be more involved in the process of things, but I get nervous. I see these whole huge things... opposite of the old expression, I can't see the trees in the forest.
The restlessness could be contributed to so many things: that paper, the weekend I just had, what's going on at work and what I still need to do to finish my portfolio (the letters were returned and scanned). These are all things that I can do a great deal of good with. I'm inviting someone back into my life who I lost touch with years ago. I love this person and I'm so happy to have reconnected... but nothing is a given. My hands are tied with a few things at work... all I can do is empathize and follow up. My introduction hasn't gelled and my chapter three is still a mess... I need to sit down with them and let them speak.
I wonder how much of what I do I do out of restlessness. My accomplices run gamut from searching for another degree to chase to my new obsession with baking bread and cooking.
How many of these things are simply ways for me to keep moving when what I probably need is to take a little time and breathe?
Friday, September 2, 2011
tap dancing, chewing gum and making creme brulee
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Dale Carnegie
Letters of collab are out- I'm waiting for my copy to come back and submitting the portfolio.
In the meantime, I have edits to do on a prof's 45 pager, my chapter 3 to revamp and a lit review to hack open and revitalize.
Wish me luck.
Letters of collab are out- I'm waiting for my copy to come back and submitting the portfolio.
In the meantime, I have edits to do on a prof's 45 pager, my chapter 3 to revamp and a lit review to hack open and revitalize.
Wish me luck.
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