Fred Astaire

"Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire." Jarod Kintz

"You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by." J.M. Barrie

It has been two years and ten days since I started this blog shouting that I would be finished by now and I had no excuses not to be.

I am obviously not finished yet, but here is what I've got:

Drafts of chapters 1, 2 and partial 3 in for review.

People who send me to do lists like this:

And me joyously accomplishing them like this:

Dancing with fairies- great use of any evening.

While I didn't sprout them, Abby Kadabby (sorry Sesame Street- better things to do than google a name) and I worked up some magic to get them on me.

Yes, the good little witch is flying to the moon, wearing a mermaid on her dress.

And

I returned the favor with the following list:

Hug Wendy

Abs

Animal driving a car

Blow bubbles with a gnome

Sing with a starfish 

I can't wait to see what they come up with.

Goal: To dance through the rest of this process. Not saying it's going to be easy, not saying that I'm going to love every second of it. I am committed to seeing it through with as much grace, joy and laughter as possible.

Proposal completed by August 27, 2014

Dissertation submitted and defended by April 20, 2014.

Killer graduation party Memorial Day, Sunday, May 25, 2014

Ridiculously awesome trip someplace amazing or moving someplace incredible summer 2014.

Buckle in kids, this is going to be fun...

Effing frogs

I'm an archivist of relics of good times. Cards, bottles, drawings, walls of lovers, event bracelets, legally and not so legally gotten glassware- these are random artifacts that I keep in spots more treasured than the deed to my house. Some stuff, I feel no loyalty to once whatever hormones or emotions that tethered me to their co-conspirator have vanished.

That said...

Relationship relics for sale...

You know how after it's over, after the ice cream and tissues and vetching with your favorites is done... After you get used to the fact that he isn't texting and that if you didn't have a severe dislike of cats you could very well become a cat lady... And then you see them: the little cutesy reminders. The ghosts of dates past.

Date location: Oswego.

Items up for bid: two lovely pink striated rocks.

Recommended uses:

1. Gonads- incase you can't find your own, this delightful pair of rocks can fit the bill, helping you plan dates, feel comfortable enough to communicate or perhaps hang in there (pun intended) while the person you're seeing is in the middle of a week of disasters.

2. Small planets- ever wanted to be the center of your own universe? Now you actually can be. (Gravitational pull to keep rocks in orbit not included).

3. @nal beads- for when that stick falls out and you decide to start enjoying yourself. (Lubrication not included- not responsible for any personal harm inflicted by user not googling the appropriateness of sticking rocks in his/her orafices).

4. Starter kit for a meditation/ rock garden. Om your way to a zenny place.

5. A clue (or two)- some people may think if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. Those people have never met a f#cking swan.

Date location: the big pineapple (aka. H-town)

Item up for bid: cork from a bottle of DMB wine. Quote from The Dreaming Tree inscribed on the side.

Recommended uses:

1. Putting a cork in it. If you really are that full of sh#t- do the world a favor and let this vintage of verbal incontinence age well with this fabulous stopper.

2. Crafty holiday decor... If you like making random sh#t, let the creativity flow. (Other festive parts not included- buy your own damn glitter).

3. You still haven't gotten over your college infatuation with DMB. (You know I'm looking at YOU).

4. Reenacting the Spanish Armada with your collection of rubber duckies. Easily dressed up as Lord Howard of Effingham with pipe cleaner and a sharpie.

The bidding will start at postage + one hilarious relationship story... Additional uses for items shown welcome.

Methodological

Trying not to swear has never been so difficult in my life... Well, that's not entirely true, but this is a very close second.

I have three somethings that I have to do. That I promised myself I would do... And I'm in desperate need of some divine intervention, or a strong kick in the butt to remind me to put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving. The middle is such an icky and lonely place to be and knowing I'm here by personal choice only makes it more irritating. Sucking it up. Celebration time for a friend, getting some more pages turned out and then more celebrating tomorrow. Breathing and relaxing into the world I created.

Ride

Surprises. My life is overflowing with surprises right now. I haven't really caught my breath since the first rolled out in March and they keep arriving in waves. Losing people, losing things, losing my compass and wondering exactly where this identity I've been hiding behind for so long really came from.

Welcoming new challenges and new people into my life has opened me up to identify and make keep or trash decisions on nuances of myself. My insecurities mirrored in those of others. Unintentional triggers. Misunderstandings that lead everything to fall apart and lay bare and sometimes matter so much less than the underlying issues found and simply let go of.

I asked someone on a date two weeks ago what his life plan was... It wasn't a job interview interrogation- it was the tag line in a health insurance billboard we drove past. He answered, but neglected to ask me the same and I didn't offer. I'm offering it to you: my life plan is to enjoy what I have left with the people I find fascinating and who adore me doing something that intrigues me and adds value to this world. Tall order? You betcha. I've always been accused of having expensive tastes, and I've finally learned where being discerning and uncompromising really matters.