Sacrifice

I'm sitting at the dining room table, fading fast and trying not to kick myself for a particularly bad binge and not using time as wisely as I could have this evening. Fact of the matter is that ass in the chair has never helped me overcome a block. Period, end of story.

This process and this meeting I have with my advisor on Tuesday have me thinking about choices and sacrifice... Don't stop reading here- I'm not going to whine, most of you who know me know that I'm a fan of wining, not whining anymore. What I was going to say before I stopped to make sure you were still reading is that life is reminding me of needing to pee on a long car ride. I'll apologize for the crudeness, but 1, let's face it, universal problem and 2, please don't tell my mom I posted this. So, you have to pee and you're on a highway you're familiar with, but not to third base with yet (know what I'm saying?). You have to pee and you approach an exit. Let's say you're on 81 south in PA and you're approaching Frackville. Now, you know there's a gas station with some fast food attached, but you've been in their bathroom before and they are completely effing sketch. Like so sketch that if there were a tv show ranking ickiest places to pee in America it would make top five in the category of place I feel most likely to get assaulted or catch a 'gift that keeps on giving' downtown in. You get the pic, I'll move on. You have a choice- fight the statistics and pop a squat (feel the sweet burn in your quads) or kegel it up and pray that another materializes.

All peeing aside, this is where I am right now. Not on 81, but in the middle of some really uncomfortable things and I'm trying to figure out if I just go with what's there, suck it up and let it rip or hold it in and hope for somewhere with one of those kick ass dyson hand driers and maybe a Wendy's (who doesn't love dipping fries in a frosty?)?

Here's to making the best decision, making the best of the decision and letting it go. Deep breath.

And this is what sacrifice is for me. It's letting go of something, whether it not it serves me, hurts me or I feel any sort of affinity for it. It's making a choice, knowing that perfect doesn't exist and trying not to drag my feet as I step forward... Because if mom were listening, she'd be yelling 'pick up your feet!'