29-27 weeks of grace. Patience

I am not a patient person. I don't like toiling, pining or doing anything else that seems like a shitload of effort especially if the reward is hidden or nebulous. The fact of the matter is that I think putting up with discomfort is ridiculous unless there is one hell of a pay off. 

The past few weeks have been an exercise in patience and judgement. They've pretty much been a game that I unwittingly played into and unfortunately both parties lost.

There isn't really any comfort to be found. The moral of the story is to listen when someone tells you something and move on when someone can't give you what you need.

There is a lot of letting go happening in so many areas of my life. Letting go of wants and preconceptions. Swapping one set of future ideals for something I love and want more... And realizing that I was let go of. Calling it rejected doesn't feel right. Calling myself tossed aside or cast off makes me a victim of someone else's whims and I choose to see this as a gift. I was let go of. I'm dropping the story of how or why or what specific moments felt like... releasing all of that drama and simply being with the absolute truth of the matter. And now, I can be open to something nourishing, sexy, kind and unafraid of loving me. It's an emptiness, but it's an open, calm, graceful place and I am grateful for it.

I will be patient with myself, trust my path and the world and enjoy the beauty that shows up.