I have failed

Because I have tried to be a nice person rather than a good one.

I have worried more about people's thoughts than their feelings.

I have jumped through hoops to get to someone who wouldn't take a step to meet me.

I have not taken care of myself- not been my own priority.

I have been impatient.

In faltering veganism, gluten free, and sugar free.

I have procrastinated with trivial things because the things I wanted were big and scary and difficult.

I have settled.

I have squandered.

I have been both too easy and too hard on myself.

I have not forgiven or let go.

I have shut out and shut down instead of listened and understood.

I have boxed and caged myself because I didn't think I was fit to be seen.

I have hidden.

I have cowered.

The great news: bed time is in 20 mins and tomorrow is a new day fit for breaking old patterns, loving, being present, and taking care of myself. Deep breath. I may have failed at many things, but I'm not quitting.