Frustration

Focus is eluding me.
It sinks for hours into warm baths promising when the fingers are just pruny enough it will return, but it doesn't.
It checks in on Facebook and twitter a dozen times, looking for obscure posts, for signs. Not realizing that synchronicity doesn't just happen- it needs a first step to play partner to.
It looks at old emails and text messages and mourns a past you were never actually married to. It asks you the most ridiculous questions about chance and fate and what if.
It makes these illustrious plans. It gets you all keyed up to do something marvelous, to challenge yourself and meet the uncommon success that only the most faithful or foolish believe you capable of and then, it decides to put it all on hold and engage you in the best game of hide and seek you've ever been tagged into. My focus has been known to take long walks outside and get lost in the gorgeousness of spring and the neat old buildings she still doesn't know after all these years. Sometimes she'll go out for cocktails and lip slut with younger men. If you're out and about and you happen to bump into her, could you tell her that we have a degree to finish?
Thanks.